The Fridge of Love.

When I was growing up, I would spend my time outside, running away from bees and hoping that my parents would forget that the sun stayed out later at summer. Back then, an exciting day would consist of finding old kitchen appliances in peoples back gardens and playing house. It was a simpler time.

These days, it’s all about finding love. I’ll spend my time giving women the ‘look,’ from across a bar that smells of stale beer and fried food from the lunch service. Occasionally I’ll speak to these enchanters of the opposite sex, but it’ll all end in an awry moment where I realise my future flashing before my eyes, a nine-to-five office job, the mini-van, and the semi-detached house in the middle of the street. I simultaneously see the good times and the bad, the mounting debts, the arguments, and the niggling thought that I may have one day found someone better if I hadn’t settled.

Why We are Angry.

Of late, I have felt a little under the weather. I blame the people I associate with, naturally, but it has given me some time to get away from the hectic struggles of regular day-to-day living. Instead, I have spent my time picking faults with the people I know, and myself – but mostly the people I know.

No one appreciates the arts anymore, you see. Just the other day I was humming away to a score of Wagner’s when all of a sudden I realised complete strangers were watching me. Likewise, when one goes to the library (remembering to wash one’s hands after leaving such an archaic establishment, what with swine flu and all) – a place of enlightenment and education – you can consider yourself most lucky if it has anything other than [name omitted, an average author] in stock.

We’re British, Not American.

Politics in America is rife with backstabbing, plot making and media coverage. Britain, meanwhile, takes its politics far more sensibly. Indeed, the closest thing we have to [name omitted] is a tabloid newspaper that no one reads. That is how it has always been, and that is how we like it. With a stiff upper lip, and a mug of Earl Gray, we are better for it.

Sky News wants to change that, though. Having no doubt seen the ratings that all the major news broadcasters, worldwide, accumulated during the Obama-McCain presidential race, Sky wants a slice of the British alternative. It is hard to blame them, really, with one candidate in Britain essentially carbon copying the speeches and slogans of one President Obama, albeit he stands for the complete opposite of what his American counterpart does.